Unworthiness and Fear

It’s a journey

It took Ester two years in and out of treatment centers before she completed thirty consecutive days of clean time. She became a practitioner of the 12 Steps; she was growing, moving forward, regained custody of her daughter, held a steady job, bought a car, and secured an apartment.

Later, she found universal spiritual principles supported her in different ways than the 12 Steps. She also discovered the power of meditation, experiencing a shift where she felt better and felt peaceful. Through meditation she connected with something new, which was her higher power, in a way that she no longer believed she needed an intermediary to achieve a direct connection with God.

“But those principles by themselves could not deal with the deeper issues, either, because there was too much unhealed static that prevented me from applying those principles in an effective way,” Ester says.

Inspired to share with others

Ester, a life coach and speaker, was inspired to share her experiences and ideas for healing core wounds in a book, Soul Recovery: 12 Keys to Healing Dependence, which is a curriculum of study and practice she used to heal herself.

0000009_ESTER_6507_3146-cropfinalxx_3186When working with clients, Ester asks them to look at the patterns of their thinking. “Are your beliefs about yourself congruent with someone who is empowered? Or are they fearful, disjointed, scattered thoughts?”

She advises people in recovery to come from a place of humility and acknowledge where they are today. “You can’t heal what you won’t acknowledge,” she says. She also asks clients if they will allow themselves to surrender to a power greater than themselves.

“If you do not believe in God or in the universe, can you believe in love?” she asks. “Can you believe in something that is harmonious and orderly? Once you get to that place, it creates such relief and the freedom to take the pressure off.”

Ester Nicholson, based in Nashville, Tennessee, is the author of Soul Recovery: 12 Keys to Healing Dependence. For the past several years, she has made the transition from a recording and touring musical artist into a teacher and public speaker about her own experiences with recovery from addiction. Learn more by visiting

Written by Rachel Duran

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