Recapping A Hard Fight Against OxyContin
The pressure to fit in and be a part of something as a young adult is overwhelming, and a popular and growing method of escape is drug-use. Coming from a large high school where drugs were everywhere, I can relate completely to the struggles of peer pressure. The need for escape coupled with the need to fit in led me on a downward spiral in my addiction with OxyContin.
I’ve dealt with the guilt and remorse that come with drug addiction. Once I started using I felt powerless and lost all will to stop. I have seen the exhaustion and heartbreak addiction can cause. Though a supportive family helps tremendously in the process of rehabilitation, support alone cannot keep an addict sober. Staying sober is the sole decision of the addict.
I can clearly remember my many attempts to get clean, but they were always the same. After three or four days, I wouldn’t be able to stand the withdrawals any longer and would go back to using. I was no match for a small pill primarily prescribed to cancer patients. In the depths of my addiction, I felt as if no one could ever understand what I was going through. I felt as if I could never break the grip this dependence had over me, and that it had become a part of my identity. I couldn’t have been more mistaken.
Though it is not absolutely necessary for addicts to go to treatment, I made the decision to go to an in-patient treatment center. I had hit such a low that I was ready and willing to get sober. I wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and go about my day without desperately needing the help of narcotics. I wanted to live life the way it is intended to be lived: drug-free. I realized that if I wanted to achieve long-term sobriety I had to change my way of thinking.
In treatment, I began recognizing some of the deep-rooted reasons I couldn’t be alone inside my head. I had become convinced that I would never be able to listen to my thoughts. I was trying to numb myself to any feelings and experiences life had to offer. After recognizing my issues, going through intense therapy, and with the help of a 12-step program, I am able to sit alone with myself and be at peace. I no longer feel the need to suppress my feelings with drugs or alcohol.
I am able to keep my mental obsession and addiction at bay as long as I continue to put the necessary work into my recovery. I have seen countless young adults die from this disease and I refuse to be a statistic. Sobriety has made me realize that a want and need to stay sober are useless if you aren’t willing to work for it.
There is a popular phrase with most recovering alcoholics/addicts: “It works if you work it,” and in my case that is 100 percent true.
Danielle was a community member at a collegiate recovery community who graduated with an undergraduate degree in English and a GPA of 3.62